You are such a moron….

Two novels, two searches for identity. Jane Eyre tells the story of the young governess, emotionally battered as a child, who seeks to find and make her own way in the world without compromise or dominion. The Wide Sargasso Sea tells of a woman married to a man who eventually destroys her. They seem on the face of it to be very different, but both of these women tell stories that have similar themes. 

Jane’s journey brings her into the employment of Rochester, a gruff, cold man, whose lack of charm and grace mirrors Jane’s own isolation from accolades and praise. Their love affair is one that is as much about ending loneliness as it is a meeting of minds. It is on their wedding day, however, that Rochester’s secret becomes apparent, and it is one that drives Jane from the house. From there, she follows no clear path, until providence brings her to a house of a parson. The parson and his sisters take her in, and recognise in her the nobility of spirit. Eventually it is discovered that they are all in fact cousins, and wealth is due to Jane (on the back of the colonies). St John, however, demands she marry him so that they can both go to the missions, a fate that would bring to Jane a quick death. She refuses him on foot of hearing Rochester call for her, flies to him, and discovers him rid of his secret and now in need, where before he was her master. They marry as equals, and Jane is herself realised.

Or so it seems. The Wide Sargasso Sea is built upon the secret of Rochester, namely, his hidden first wife, the wife that prevents his marriage to Jane. We travel back to see her childhood in the colonies. We see her mother is fighting for status and safety, and loosing. We see the family home destroyed by protesting natives. Here the disconnection from life seems very possible, so many threads of consciousness exist - race, religion, language, all conspire to show not just one point of view but many. Secrets are everywhere, especially within oneself. Antoinette’s mother is lost to her by illness (an illness that leads to torture and abuse by carers), and she is married off to a man she cannot understand. He does not understand her, or her land or her ways, and quickly moves to push her away by sleeping with a maid. Her response, to rely on voodoo potions, pushes her over the edge, and she is declared mad. Rochester moves her away from all and brings her to England to be imprisoned and made silent. She cannot whisper her secrets now, locked away as she is. Instead, the private horror of her capture, and the public horror of slavery of the woman and of the native, is kept silent. She frees the ‘fire’ of her red dress by burning down the house she is locked away in, and thus exposes the insanity of her capture as well as her. 

Her death both allows Jane to become what she wants (wealthy, married, settled without conscience) and also damns her and Rochester, as the conflagration is a visible landmark of violence that they created. The wealth of the two came on foot of the hell of the one, the silent, the cursed and the Other, and so the identity of Jane is on foot of the loss of identity of Antoinette (later Berta). In this way did the author Jean Rhys seek to show the brutality and corruption that is slavery and how the oppressed can be shown to exist even when silenced and hidden away. 

Oh sure, I could do that…..

It might be worthwhile to ask the question, seeing as we seed so much authority to this institution. If you believe in their creed, then you afford your very soul to them. If you don’t, you in all likelihood will have your children educated by them. So let us give them a look, shall we?  

Most of what follows uses the Catholic Encyclopedia as source.  

Moral Authority; the origin of the Church proports to be due to the presence of Jesus Christ on earth. The presence of Christ conveys a supernatural authority upon the Holy See to convey God’s direct wisdom to His people and to lead a stable path to salvation. 

It is a matter of some regret that the Church as conducted throughout the country of Ireland has sought the diversion of any principles of Justice and humanity. The moral authority is totally bankrupt, the purpose is thrown to one side to protect the institution. The institution has lied shamefacedly to protect itself, and will continue to do so.  

Voice of God; Jesus conveyed his mission to the twelve disciples, it is claimed, and their role has been preserved down through the ages. The Church assumes the mantle of infallibility and it rejects all suggestion of error. 

It is important to note that this suggestion of infallibility is one that is conveyed by scripture. One is led to conclude that if a person acts outside of Scripture, that fallibility is therefore restored, and so on for an institutional. 

Theological Experts: The men of the Church seek to study both the word of God and the word of man about God. In this contemplation they seek to better understand God and to create a better understanding in others of Him.

The sheer breech between this stated aim and the reality of the Catholic Church in Ireland is so wide as to be a priori. The Church cares nothing for the wisdom of Christ, or for any other element. It is solely concerned with its own survival. Which brings us to our last possibility.   

Institution; The Church exists solely for its own existence. It is functioning solely and deliberately to preserve itself and to contain itself. It has no mission. It has no moral authority of any sort whatsoever. It is divided from any divinity that might have originally existed, and instead is an institution that saves and stores wealth, passes on power from one generation to another, and removes from the hands of the populace the tools that convey both temporal and spiritual power.

It is first and foremost an institution of harm to those that do not agree with its aims, and it is a tool of omission and neglect to all that are vulnerable and depend upon it. If good is done, it is done despite of the Church, rather than because of it. The Church is an empty institution that bears no good and only causes evil to be done. Remember the stark words, and think on it; 

This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here. What is here is dangerous and repulsive to us. 

Just because!!

This phone is apparently terribly important. You may have concerns, you may have worries, but your petty concerns do not match in any way shape or form the sheer implications of this item.

It has buttons, that do things.

It has more buttons, that do more things.

It also costs about €600, which again makes it terribly important.

I’ll be back next Wednesday to tell you more things that are terribly important. Until then, I wish you a kind fate, dear reader.  

And why have I never heard of it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iO0LYcCoeJY 

I met a friend last night, someone I hadn’t seen for a while. I explained that I was going to be busy this summer and when she asked why, I told her that I’m getting married in July.

Her reaction! She threw her arms around me, utterly delighted for me. "Walls! I’m so happy for you, you’re going to look so beautiful! And you SO deserve to be happy! I’m delighted!"

Her reaction was the first one of its type. My family’s reaction has been fairly muted -  Mum being so ill naturally puts their minds on other things, and so it was regarded as just another development. My brother, newly single, gave me dire warnings of how impossible marriage was, while the other one made lewd jokes about being pregnant, as if that was the only reason someone WOULD marry me. My sisters gave me short shrift, pointing out problems, creating stresses, wondering about fake tan and hotels….

And that is what I’ve been feeling, stressed. I’ve been worrying about being thin enough, about the expected snide comments from all of them, about looking ridiculous, about my Mum not being well enough to enjoy the day (to even be aware of the day), of looking stupid. Looking laughable.

My friend’s reaction put me back into reality. This is a happy occasion, damnit! Instead of worrying what folks think or say, I’m going to start to concentrate on making the day special -  and no, I don’t mean seat covers or the view from the reception. I’m going to think about the fairly large change I and my loved one are making in our lives, and how we can cement that properly, with joy and love and anticipation for the future ahead. This is not an occasion of stress. This is an occasion of joy, an occasion of our joy, and if I let other folks get in the way of spoiling that, well more fool me. 

Here comes the Bride.

Here is my confession.

Secretly, hidden away from the eyes of the world, I have kept it hidden.

I have smiled and laughed and agreed with others, all this time remaining covert.

I have given out a lie, when I was in fact conscious of the truth all the time.

All the magazines, the adverts, the movies, none of it looks like me. Too bad.

Here is my truth. I’m beautiful. I’m stunning. I’ve no need for make up, hair, clothes that reveal.

I’m stunning. I am perfect. The. Way. I. Am.

All those women with shining faces at make up counters can’t touch me.

I’m lovely. I’m a work of art because I’m me.

I just can’t tell anyone.

brooks no distance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=badHUNl2HXU